He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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