drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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