Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
