I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
