Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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