also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If I die, sorry about rent.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
