wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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