This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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