Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
