No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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