I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
