sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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