I wish I only lived at night.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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