just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize