dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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