You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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