you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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