remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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