She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
