I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
