so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
