I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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