Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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