You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize