What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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