She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
