the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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