i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
