Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
