No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
