youre lurking in front of me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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