I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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