oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
