Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
