I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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