every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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