Already got asked if we're dating
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
