HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
