i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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