laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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