I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
