To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
