now i know why i became what i already was.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
