I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
People in love make me want to vomit
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
