Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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