The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize