I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize