There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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