If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
