You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
