so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.