Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  ...welcome to nebraska

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  (402): i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall (402): ...welcome to nebraska http://tfl.nu/cxvz
  Replies (56) Good night (2619) Bad night (1005)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?

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  (910): An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win? http://tfl.nu/qcgn
  Replies (25) Good night (1017) Bad night (4563)
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  (845): View more from New York

  They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.

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  (845): They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids. http://tfl.nu/mgv1
  Replies (48) Good night (1836) Bad night (5868)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.

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  (517): Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date. http://tfl.nu/f1nk
  Replies (8) Good night (950) Bad night (5328)
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  (562): View more from California

  sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone

  (1-562): View more from California

  there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue

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  (562): sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone (1-562): there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue http://tfl.nu/8olm
  Replies (9) Good night (954) Bad night (2561)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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  (860): the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real. http://tfl.nu/2bbh
  Replies (5) Good night (4909) Bad night (1028)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  death...100% death...what r u planning.

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  (269): Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip? (313): death...100% death...what r u planning. http://tfl.nu/azwl
  Replies (9) Good night (1446) Bad night (1909)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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  (330): I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/wf9d
  Replies (4) Good night (1021) Bad night (724)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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  (613): Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in. http://tfl.nu/gv1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1088) Bad night (463)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.

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  (570): Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore. http://tfl.nu/httm
  Replies (1) Good night (1288) Bad night (436)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

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  (703): I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1... http://tfl.nu/7tjh
  Replies (2) Good night (1299) Bad night (456)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, that's a plus.

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  (256): In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet. (1-256): Yeah, that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/i1dz
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (313)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out

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  (440): so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out http://tfl.nu/ke1e
  Replies (0) Good night (324) Bad night (684)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a cash register on top of my car?

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  (215): Why is there a cash register on top of my car? http://tfl.nu/nfm6
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (349)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS

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  (306): he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS http://tfl.nu/n1yt
  Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (719)

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