Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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  (903): He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered... http://tfl.nu/skgw
  Replies (7) Good night (1151) Bad night (4653)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities

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  (603): I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities http://tfl.nu/wabu
  Replies (6) Good night (3176) Bad night (728)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

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  (513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx
  Replies (7) Good night (1812) Bad night (829)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.

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  (902): he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised. http://tfl.nu/s19u
  Replies (6) Good night (926) Bad night (1938)
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  (518): View more from New York

  one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what

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  (518): one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what http://tfl.nu/cm71
  Replies (7) Good night (1986) Bad night (864)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?

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  (732): Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra? http://tfl.nu/estf
  Replies (10) Good night (2615) Bad night (609)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.

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  (615): Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities. http://tfl.nu/y5al
  Replies (8) Good night (1631) Bad night (851)
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  (518): View more from New York

  At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out

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  (518): At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out http://tfl.nu/bjrp
  Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (834)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories

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  (217): I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories http://tfl.nu/vqmd
  Replies (6) Good night (1699) Bad night (569)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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  (612): Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE http://tfl.nu/81rr
  Replies (3) Good night (1230) Bad night (465)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.

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  (813): I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry. http://tfl.nu/1un5
  Replies (7) Good night (383) Bad night (1070)
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  (760): View more from California

  The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.

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  (760): The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet. http://tfl.nu/760v
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (359)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass

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  (813): I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass http://tfl.nu/xapu
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (352)
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  (760): View more from California

  I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.

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  (760): I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays. http://tfl.nu/jyu4
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (307)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown

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  (816): Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown http://tfl.nu/kwyi
  Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (219)

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