I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
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Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
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you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.