hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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