Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
