there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
