hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
