i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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