everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
